Author: Nanice Ellis
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The Secrets of Abou!
Channeled through Nanice
When I love someone, I often feel like I am afraid of giving all of myself because the love may not be returned and I'll be rejected - how can I get over this?
Are you guilty of holding back because you expect something in return or if you give fully, you will be rejected? Nonsense. If you do not give of yourself fully, you are not giving at all. You are really only looking out for what you can get - what another being can give to you. That is not really giving. It is doing one thing so that you can get your own needs met. Giving only happens when the giving is complete - with nothing held back. Otherwise, it is conditional and nothing conditional can ever be considered giving.
Do you know what "giving" is? It is the complete surrender of one person to another. The other can be a person but it can also be a non person as well. In the case of a person, so few of you really know how to give of yourselves. I see that many of you can partially do it with your children but when it comes to your parents, partners, spouses, siblings and friends most of you do not give of yourselves at all. It saddens me to know how much you miss. Not how much the recipient of your possible giving misses but how much you miss. The real beneficiary in any act of giving is always the giver but this only happens if the giver gives freely, completely and with honor. When I say "freely", I mean without conditioners - that you require or desire anything in return. When I say "completely", I mean that nothing is held back - you give the all of what you are giving. When I say "with honor" I mean - the intention behind the giver's gift? If you give out of pity or to make yourself feel better because you are more well off, then the giving does not happen. Could you give the same gift anonymously? Would you? Also, when we give out of guilt or pity, you give through a lower vibration of scarcity. Do you see what I mean? Imagine that you are walking along the street when a vagrant comes up to you and asks for some change. Can you look at him and see that he is no different than you - and still give him the change he asks you for? Or do you suddenly fill with guilt, pity or some type of discomfort - and you give the same change but it is not the same gift. You may be giving him the money he needs but you are also imparting on him your negativity and lower vibratory form. You are giving him the energy of pity, guilt and whatever else you may be feeling. How is this a gift? I think that it is not a gift but more for him to carry. Do not give under any circumstances unless it is in complete honor of the one you are giving to?
You may ask, how can I honor someone who looks and smells dirty and lives on the streets like rats? Can you see that on the deepest levels that he is no different from you? You may live like a prince or princess in a castle but if you look at him with pity or disgust, you also smell like dirt and live like rats. I understand that this is difficult for you to understand but whatever else you think of another, you are thinking clearly about yourself. Whatever else you think or feel about another, you energize in your own being. He may be dirty and homeless but it is you who experiences it in your body when you project it on to him. It is never him who is dirty and forbidden, it is you. He simply wears it for you so that you can see it in yourself.
Is it possible to look at a vagrant and see God? Who do you think you are that you can't?
When you can look at the recipient of your giving and see God, then give fully and freely of yourself. If you see God in him and then give, there is nothing to lose when you give of yourself completely and freely. You will stop needing the recipient of your giving to give something in return - whether that something be a material object, love or the meeting of any of your needs. But if you look at another and give because it is the right thing to do, it will appease your guilty feelings, you pity the person or want to get away from him as soon as possible, don't give. Your giving will be filtered with the wrath of God coming through you.
As for your question: You say you love someone but then you withhold your love - the greatest gift of all. How can you love someone and withhold your love. How is that even possible? Maybe what is more true for you is that you love yourself selfishly - that you want him or her to love you and if you are certain that he or she does love you then you can be giving of your love. If you are more afraid of losing something or not getting what you think you deserve, you are not the giver of love. When it is your own needs that motivate you to give love, you are the giver of nothing. You give him no love and you give even less to yourself. What are you so afraid of - that you might love and not be loved in return? How horrific! I can think of nothing worse - unless of course to feel the amazing gift of love and hold it tightly within ones being until it threatens the very joy and happiness of the lover.
The love you feel for another is not about you or you getting your needs met, it is about being a channel for love. You want to know about purpose - if you do have a purpose it is to be a channel for love and light and when you hold it back because you are scared you will be rejected, you are rejecting yourself and the very energy that has created you. There is only one sin - it is not murder, rape or thievery. It is the withholding of love. The only sin is the withholding of love. Do you see now? But it is never too late. You can choose right now to allow yourself to love freely, completely and with honor. You are the vessel and love is the energy. What clouds you from being the vessel of love is your fear, your needs, your hopes and your judgments. But they are all your choice. We will talk more about that later but for now, you can choose love for love is really all there is. You talk of love so much that you forget what it is but it is much more than you can ever imagine - but imagine it anyway.
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