Hidden Secrets of Ayahuasca - How I learned to overcome darkness in the Amazon Jungle
Author: Nanice Ellis
With over three decades of searching for truth and spiritual awakening, my quest brought many answers, but every answer ignited more questions.
Although this is my story of defeating darkness, it is intended to help you defeat all forms of negativity in your life and in the world. Whether it is depression you face alone, suppression in a difficult relationship, or the fear of global oppression, the core answer is always the same. Fortunately, you already possess the key, and by the end of my story, you will know exactly how to use that key for healing and transformation.
With over three decades of searching for truth and spiritual awakening, my quest brought many answers, but every answer ignited more questions. Finally, desperate to find the missing pieces of the puzzle, in 2009, I decided to do something I swore I would never do; I traveled to Peru, and in the heart of the Amazonian Jungle, I drank the mysterious tea, Ayahuasca, for the very first time.
Ayahuasca is an ancient healing medicine that is brewed by combining two Amazonian plants, and although it is impossible to understand how Ayahuasca works without experiencing it yourself, it’s fair to say that it awakens consciousness and can facilitate healing in a way that is therapeutic and unique for each person. Oftentimes, profound shifts in consciousness result in deep and permanent transformation, but this is not just about Ayahuasca; this is a story about overcoming extreme negativity….
Sitting in the circular shamanic lodge, just hours after arriving in the Amazon, I found myself among twenty fellow journeyers from all over the world. As I quietly watched the shaman prepare Ayahuasca, anxiety swept over me, and, yet, when it was my turn to drink, I courageously drank every last drop ….
During the first ceremony, Ayahuasca offered me many lessons, but, most of all, I was shown the chaos and crisis overshadowing the planet. As this awareness triggered a familiar desire to save the world, the medicine “asked me” to take on planetary pain and suffering in order to purge it. Since my desire to help humanity outweighed any personal fears, I said yes, and, within minutes, my body became an energetic container for humanity’s suffering, and that of the entire planet. Despite deep emotional pain, and the intention to release it, purging was nowhere in sight.
With no relief or resolution during the first ceremony, the second ceremony, on night two, continued where the first left off. However, by dawn the next morning, the emotional pain had only deepened, but along with it, my determination for healing and resolution. I had come too far not to finish what I started, so, despite great trepidation, on night three, I drank the tea once again...
Unlike the gradual onset of the first two ceremonies, the medicine hit like a hurricane. All at once, a horrific energy descended upon me, and the shamanic lodge transformed into a house of horror. As bone chilling fear surged through my veins, an all pervasive energy morphed into a dark force that quickly had me under siege, and the more I struggled to resist, the more powerful it became. In the blink of an eye, I was drowning in a thick sea of diabolical energy – somehow I knew it represented centuries of horrific traumas and tragedies – from worldwide holocausts to personal atrocities.
Even though I knew I was under the influence of Ayahuasca, it didn’t matter because it felt more real than anything I had ever experienced in my life. No matter what I tried, there was no way to escape this dark energy, and no place to hide. Even when I closed my eyes, this faceless, nameless energy greeted me on the other side. Nothing offered the slightest relief, and, if I dissociated or checked-out for even a moment, this unforgiving force energetically tortured me in ways I cannot describe. With no end in sight, absolute terror flooded every cell of my being.
The journey was no longer about saving the planet or healing humanity. Now, I was fighting for my life; fearing that even in death there would be no escape from this relentless tormentor.
Indeed, I was all alone with no hope of anyone saving me. What had I done? Why did I drink this terrible tea again? Even as these regretful thoughts did somersaults in my head, I was acutely aware that there was no way to undo this nightmare, and the only way out was through. But, this would be no easy feat, because in order to confront this horrific energy, I would first have to confront my own paralyzing fear. Therefore, with no other choice, I summoned up every ounce of courage, and remembering the Peruvian word for illusion, I silently commanded, “Maya, Go Away - only love and light are welcome!”
As I executed this command over and over, the dark energy began to slowly retreat, and, thankfully, my commands were working just enough to provide some degree of relief. However, if I stopped, or my thoughts strayed for even a second, or doubt crept in, the oppressive energy instantly regained control, and every time this happened, I had to begin the whole process over again. Moreover, since each round was increasingly difficult, it became perfectly clear that my salvation depended solely on my determination to stay conscious.
Indeed, if I was to keep the darkness at bay, I had to remain fully present and on active guard.
Although I was beyond exhausted, I made the commitment to stay conscious and focused until the medicine wore off - it seemed like an eternity, but the alternative was intolerable. Once I made this commitment, I wiped my mind of regrets and I dropped all resistance. No longer paying attention to mental exhaustion and firmly ignoring my body’s pleas for rest, from there on out, my commands possessed greater intent and more power.
Despite steadfast determination and continuous commands, I could not get the dark energy to retreat beyond a certain parameter. Not giving up, I searched for the magic words that would dominate the energy and make it back-off. Lo and behold, the instant I commanded, “Only Love is Real” the energy retreated beyond the parameter, and after a few minutes, love formed a circular boundary that protected me from all directions. It was profoundly clear that love was the more powerful force.
Although I was extremely relieved to find the magic words, I still had to command them over and over to keep the new parameter in place. However, the instant I thought, “There has to be an easier way?” I heard a non-physical “voice” say, “Project Love” - and I instantly knew that the vibration of love could be projected with intention. (I would later realize that this “voice” was the spirit of Ayahuasca).
So, as I commanded, "Only Love is Real," I imagined projecting the vibration of love into the darkness, and, to my surprise and amazement, the energy was not only retreating, it was also losing power. Although I desperately wanted to embrace this first sign of victory, after hours of continuous torment, I didn’t trust it. So, just to be safe, I fiercely projected more and more love! Minutes later, my dark energetic tormenter, along with the house of horror, dissolved into nothingness. No battle, no fight, no negotiation - without the slightest resistance, darkness was defeated by love.
Beyond extraordinary, the only thing that remained was deep unconditional love like I have never known before - and it just kept growing. This exquisite love was millenniums beyond human love and it was literally everywhere. Not only overflowing from me; it was in everyone and connected everything, and, for the first time, I understood how we are all One, and I experienced Oneness as the source of my being! Even though I had been depleted of all resources, suddenly, I was bubbling with zest and energy, and I knew that the magic words were in fact true - Only Love is Real!
As if Mother Nature orchestrated a grand celebration on my behalf, the moment I broke through darkness into love, thunder and lightning burst from the sky with mind-blowing synchronicity. After crawling off my mat in the shamanic lodge, and going outside, I sat blissfully under a tree for hours, and as the warm rain washed away any remaining residue, I watched the dark night transform into the light of day.
During the most challenging night of my life, I learned to stay fully present while holding the vibration of love, and, in so doing, I discovered the key to transcending darkness. But, remember, this is not just my story of defeating darkness; this is intended for you. Just as I defeated darkness in the jungle, you have the power to dissolve any negativity in life.
By sharing the following 5 Life Changing Lessons I learned in the jungle, I now pass this golden key to you….
Ayahuasca showed me the true nature of reality, and how life operates very much like a dream or sophisticated simulation. You see, there is only One Energy is the Universe and everything is made from this One Energy because there is nothing else to make anything out of – period! It’s Pure Source Energy or nothing, but even nothing is still Pure Source Energy.
Although Source Energy is indescribable, many sages, philosophers and awake beings have named it “love.” However, equating Source Energy with the conditions and limitations associated with human love is quite misleading. The infinite and unconditional love of Source is often beyond common human experience.
Nonetheless, we are each an expression of Source Energy, and we exist to express and experience all the potentials and possibilities of Creation. Regardless of expression or materialization, Source Energy is indestructible and limitless and can never be altered or diminished in anyway whatsoever. Source can morph into anything or anyone and still remain true to its nature, which is great news because the human experience requires contrast - the yin and yang of metaphysical design. Without contrasting opposites and “polar effects,” such as light and dark, positive and negative, and good and bad, life as we know it, would cease to exist.
As conscious beings with free-will, we each willingly came into this world with amnesia of our True Selves and the true nature of reality. Why? Well, as our omnipotent True Selves there is no challenge, thrill or satisfaction in the Game of Life. Therefore, to have real-life experiences where we overcome opposition, benefit from experience, and receive life’s abundant gifts, we first have to forget that we are infinite beings. After all, there’s no point playing a game without challenges, purpose and the promise of fulfillment.
Furthermore, the attributes of our True Selves include love, joy and peace, but without contrast, we really have no conceptual understanding of our true essence. Without fear or hate, love has no meaning and without sadness or grief, joy remains abstract. The Game of Life allows us to experience contrast in order to experientially know our True Selves. So, whatever you choose to experience in life, you must first experience its opposite. For example, to know worth, you must experience unworthiness, to know freedom, you must experience entrapment, to know empowerment, you must overcome powerlessness.
Keep in mind that no matter the physical or emotional dangers of being human, there is no risk in playing the Game of Life because we always wake-up as our True Selves – completely unharmed.
Ayahuasca showed me the two main reasons for darkness and negativity:
Ayahuasca showed me a vibrational Universe where everything is composed of vibrating energy within a spectrum. Representing expressions of One Source, fear and darkness are on one end of the vibrational spectrum while love and light are on the other.
Although free-will allows us to choose the spectrum of vibration in which we exist, most of us unconsciously choose through our emotional reactions. Believing we are separate and alone, it’s natural to defend ourselves against perceived threats, but, unfortunately, this throws us into the dark end of the spectrum. This means that whenever we react defensively, or fight against negativity, we end up vibrating with the issues or people we are against.
Nonetheless, just like the dark energy I faced in the Amazon, everything we fear is an illusion and only has power because we give it power through fear, and this is why there is nothing to fear but fear itself.
The most transformational experience of my life led me to discover that love is the most powerful force in the Universe, but, due to the nature of love, this power cannot be used for harm.
With love as your weapon, you have the power to dissolve darkness and negativity at will. However, despite its potential magnitude, love has no power unless activated through consciousness, and this means that the power of love is ineffective without conscious intention. Through your conscious intention, you can find the switch and activate all the love (aka light) you want and need.
Just as I was the source of my own light in the Amazon, you are the source of your own light in every situation and relationship. Nothing outside has more power than the light within, but you must go within to activate this power through your intention. Once activated, intention must be followed by focused attention.
Although the power of love is activated whenever you choose love, you must hold the vibration of love long enough to reach an energetic threshold. The point is to stay tuned to love until you experience a positive shift. Although this is a simple concept, it can be quite challenging when we have conditions on love. Indeed, when others must meet our conditions, it’s easy to shift from love to judgment in the blink of an eye.
Therefore, to utilize the full power of love, we must consciously and consistently choose love over and over again, and not give power to fear or negativity, nor believe what others want us to believe. Your mind can be fueled by love just as easily as it can be fueled by fear, but you have to consciously choose, or through complacency this choice is made for you. No doubt, if you are not controlling your mind, someone or something else is.
For a powerful 11-minute guided process go to www.Nanice.com/love
Let’s be clear, choosing love does not mean that you should allow others to disempower you in any way. Definitely stand for what you believe, set boundaries, and speak your truth. However, not by battling darkness or fighting for a cause, but, rather, by aligning with your True Self and acting on behalf of empowering solutions.
One choice at a time, together, we can manifest a new dream for humanity. Therefore, each time you choose love over fear, and connection over separation, you contribute to collectively raising the planetary vibration, and this means that every choice counts. Just like the hundred monkey theory, when we reach an energetic threshold, love will spread throughout the world as the dominant frequency, and as it effortlessly dissolves disempowerment, the era of darkness will be eradicated. By making love your most important intention and choosing love again and again, you’ll soon discover that Love is to Darkness as Kryptonite is to Superman!
No doubt, Ayahuasca’s lessons are extraordinary, but the journey doesn’t end when the medicine wears off. Indeed, for the wise and ready, it only just begins – as with any transformational experience; what you do afterwards really counts. Not surprisingly, it took me well over a year to integrate, and nothing has ever been the same since.
Finally, as the source of your own light, you have the power to illuminate all darkness!
With love, grace & gratitude,
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