Forgiveness only manifests when we stop using the words or negative energies others projected onto us, against ourselves.
If I say I forgive you for calling me worthless, yet I keep calling myself worthless, I am holding you within my energetic field and can not release you until I release the belief that I am not worthy and I stop calling myself unworthy. In actuality, I'm keeping the words you gave me and using them against myself in order to keep myself small and powerless; and I am blaming you - whether that blaming is conscious or unconscious. Does that sound like forgiveness?
Or maybe, for example, I forgive my mother for neglecting or abandoning me and yet I go on neglecting or abandoning myself. Even if I no longer blame her there is a part of me that still energetically holds her accountable - or else I wouldn't be doing it to myself. Even if I consciously take responsibility for my behavior and feelings, I'm still using her words and/or actions; no matter what I call it or how many times I release her. I haven't forgiven her when I keep USING HER to unconsciously justify my own negative actions towards myself; even without conscious justification, every time I do to myself what she did to me, I hold her liable on some energetic level.
In forgiving another, I can only forgive myself by releasing the perpetual harm that I inflict on myself in the name of the other.
To forgive another, I must take full responsibility for Who I Am while all the while realigning myself with a higher vibration of truth.
Taking responsibility for myself and releasing another means that I must stop hurting myself in those same ways that were inflicted upon me by the other. As long as I am still hurting myself in those ways, I have not forgiven anyone.
Taking responsibility for my own behavior, feelings, actions and even self talk is not enough when we are talking about the true transformative power of forgiveness. In order to initiate the true powers of forgiveness, we must FORGIVE OURSELVES, by stopping the replay of old voices and deeds that perpetuate old disempowering feelings.
What that means is that we must stop committing "crimes of the mind" against ourselves. We must stop criticizing ourselves, putting ourselves down, undermining ourselves, abandoning, neglecting, blaming, shaming and guilting ourselves into submission or powerlessness. We must claim our power and perfection and live it without compromise or sacrifice in any way. We must own our value and honor ourselves in the glorious and divine perfection of who we really are. Only then are we Forgiven so that we are able to give forgiveness as well.
We must first forgive ourselves of the sins we commit against ourselves before we can ever forgive another. This means that in order to really forgive someone, you must own your power and worth and choose to express who you really are in all your unique and extraordinary ways.
Only by being true to ourselves and supporting ourselves on all levels can we ever really release another. Until then, they are our energetic prisoners, all the while we are claiming to be imprisoned by them. True forgiveness leaves no traces...
The Forgiveness Prayer
To all those I have ever hurt intentionally or unintentionally, please forgive me by releasing the wound that I inflicted upon you though the sins of my word or deed. My actions and words were mis-givings and I take them back. In forgiving me I ask that you GIVE THEM BACK. Please forgive me by remembering your value and worth and by reclaiming the power of who you really are. Please forgive me by remembering yourself, and so that I can "Re-Member" my own self. Please forgive me by being true to yourself and rejoicing in the beauty of who you really are, as I rejoice with you; seeing you only as glorious and magnificent.
Copyright - Nanice Ellis 2009 - 2010
Listen Now - New Chai with Nanice - Forgiving the Unforgivable - the Art of Compassion
In grace & gratitude,