The human mind is a trickster. It tricks us into believing things, in order to maintain the reality of the illusion.
Waking up in the illusion changes everything, but the mind still tries to make sense of things in order to create the illusion of consistency - in an attempt to make it real. I went through a long period of testing and trying things on; in many ways it was very easy to see through this thing I had previously called reality, but it was also quite sneaky. I came across things that I had a tougher time believing, or rather not believing to be real. For example, even though I could clearly see the dream state, I still hung onto many of my former spiritual beliefs. It was as if, I was trying to fit my new awareness of truth into my old paradigms of spirituality. Waking up to the knowing that I was living in a virtual reality completely devastated nearly all my spiritual beliefs, yet for a time I clung on to them trying to make the square fit into the round hole and therefore lingered in a state of disbelief about what I knew to be true.
If I am really experiencing an illusion that my mind (or a mind) is projecting, what about the past lives that I remember? What about the spirits that come to me for guidance or to guide? What about alternate realities? How does that all fit together? It took me some time to understand and accept that all those things and more were part of the illusion. Those things did not contradict the illusion, nor were they proof of some greater reality. They are simply branches of the illusion. It's not that angels, for example, are not real. They are as real as you and me. The point is, we are not real, and so neither are they.
In time, I could see that much of spirituality was just another form of the dream state. The Buddha, Jesus and even mystical experiences were all part of the dream state. I always thought that my spiritual beliefs would "save me." I counted on them as some sort of soft landing place - I had no idea that waking up in the dream would also mean waking up from spirituality.
This is the interesting part, even though I now know past lives and alternate realities, for example, to be forms of the illusion, I still speak of them as if they are real. Just as I still speak of my life as if it is real. It is the conscious deception. Who would have thought that in waking up in the dream, I would consciously choose to deceive myself in order to keep playing the game. But that is only sometimes, and only because it is interesting - the back drop of everything is the illusion.
In grace & gratitude,
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