Waking Up Out Of The Illusion

Sometime there is just nothing to say.
I look for words or insights and nothing is there.
I use to wonder if it would ever come again.
Now I know, that when it is ready, it will flow. I really don't care though.
There is no investment.  No one to save.  No purpose to fulfill.
I only do what I do, because it is fun, or for some reason Source is asking me to do it.
I don't always know why, but I always know what I am being asked to do, and I always do it.

This is what it means to live totally in the moment.  
Sometimes my mind still wants to make plans or create a purpose,
but the larger part of me, quickly dismisses it as non sense -
because it does not make sense from this high place. 

Having said that, I never dismiss it in others.  In fact, I support it fully.
Most people don't want to wake up from the dream.
Most want to wake up in the dream.
Being awake in the dream usually involves having a purpose, a mission, plans etc...
This is beautiful and I highly advocate it.
I certainly support my own children in this way,
because this makes for a great life from a conscious and awake state.
My 18 year old son Travis, is most certainly awake in the dream.
He asks me, what are  the benefits of waking up out of the dream?
I respond by saying, that question doesn't exist from being awake out of the dream.
We both laugh. 
He decides to stay in the dream.... at least for now.
But the way he is going, I suspect that it won't be long before he is called to be fully awake.
It is not really a choice.  You don't choose to wake up, even though it may seem like that.
It is more like it chooses you and won't let go.
You have no choose.  There is clearly the point of no return,
but by the time you realize that you have reached it, it is already too late.

Waking up in the dream is becoming a conscious creator of your life, and living your life in alignment with higher spiritual values.
Waking up out of the dream is a direct knowing that you are the dreamer of the dream.  You see the illusion clearly for what it is.  Meaning, purpose and everything else dissolve, and
the only thing that exists is now in a state selflessness. Nothing exists. All is illusion. 


I had no idea what I was really asking for but I wanted to wake up out of the dream for years.  I wanted it more than anything. Well, almost. Early in 2004, I was visiting Zions National Park and one night I couldn't sleep due to some things that were troubling. I got up and drove through the dark desolate park. I came to a spot and stopped. I got out of my car and walked out onto a large rock where I sat. It was so dark I couldn't see my own hand.  I knew that the rock rested on a cliff however because I could hear the waterfall below.  It had to be at least a 200 foot drop. I sat there in the dark speaking to the Universe. I asked it for one thing.  I asked for awakening. I pleaded, "please let me wake up."  It clearly responded as a voice and said, "Jump." Shock and disbelief filled my body, as I carefully retreated from the edge. Hindsight, I could see that my imminent death would have resulted in my awakening.  As every death is an awakeinng and every birth is a death.  But I wasn't ready to die, and that is not the kind of shortcut I was hoping for. 
That was a priceless moment that I will never forget.  I can still hear the voice say jump.

I suppose that would have been the easy way to awaken, but certainly not what I was looking for. I wished to be fully awake and still have a body - or at least the illusion of a body which is the most anyone can have.  

 It is all so clear now. Sometimes my mind still tries to lure me in, but there are too many holes in the illusion, to fall for that.  It's like becoming lucid in a nighttime dream; once you know that you are dreaming, there is no fooling you.
The dream can do what the dream does, but you still know that it is just a dream. 

I spent many years researching awakened beings, and from an asleep state, I really couldn't tell who was awake and who was not. From an awakened state it is easy to tell.  From an awakened state, the only one who can be awake is you because you are dreaming everyone else. When they say that it is lonely at the top, maybe this is what they mean, except the last thing you will ever experience is loneliness.   

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In grace & gratitude,
Nanice